STARTED MY DAY A BIT SCARED BECAUSE THE WHOLE NIGHT I SAW A BUNCH OF BAD DREAMS ONE AFTER THE ANOTHER!!SOME WERE UNREALISTIC WHEREAS SOME WHERE VERY REALISTIC!!BUT STILL SAT ON MY STUDY TABLE AND OBSERVED MY TIMETABLE AND REALIZED THAT IF I DONT MANAGE TO GET OUT OF THIS FLAT TODAY I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO GO OUT TILL MAY!!
HENCE I CALLED UP MY MOM AND ASKED TO GO OUT GIVING AN EXCUSE WHICH CANT BE DISCLOSED !AND THE SAME ANSWER NEITHER A YES NOR A NO SO I JUST TAUNTED HER SAYING EVERYDAY U GO OUT TO RELATIVE HOUSE BUT I SHOULD GO OUT CAUSE I M BUGGED UP HERE AND KEPT MY PHONE DOWN...
I WAS AGAIN IN THE ROOM DEVASTATED...MAULED...BUGGED...AND WITHOUT REALIZING SMALL TEARS STARTED COMING OUT OF MY EARS...FELT LIKE A BIRD IN A ROOM JUST LOOKING OUT TO GET OUT OF HERE...THOUGHTS CAME IN MY MIND TO SHUT THIS EMOTIONAL DRAMA AND STUDY BUT I WAS FAR TOO INJURED. THIS WAS NO MORE AN EMOTIONAL DRAMA IT WAS A TURMOIL...
I WANTED SOMEONE TO GUIDE ME. I THOUGHT OF MY BEST FRIEND FIRST BUT HE WAS UNAVAILABLE I TRIED 5 TIMES BUT NO ANSWER !!MY FEELING GROWED STRONG I WANTED TO TALK TO MY BOYFRIEND BUT HE WAS BUSY WITH HIS FRIENDS WATCHING A MOVIE !!BUT I REALLY THINK HE WILL NOT UNDERSTAND CAUSE HE IS WAY MORE STUD AND HAS NEVER BEEN IN MY SITUTATION.
I WAS NOT ABLE TO SEE ANYTHING NOW SO OPENED MY CUPBOARD AND KEPT MY CHOCOLATE BOX OUT !!I HOGGED A PACKET OF BOURNVILLE AND SOME OTHER TOFFEE TO COMPLETELY FORGET MY MALICE!!IT WORKED I WAS AGAIN NORMAL
WHEN I NEEDED SUPPORT NOBODY WAS THERE IT IS NOT THEIR MISTAKE JUST TIMING BUT I HAD THESE MATERIALISTIC THINGS !!WHY DO WE ALWAYS LOOK UP TO OUR PEOPLE .FOR ME IT WAS ALWAYS MATERIALISTIC THINGS THAT KEPT ME NORMAL AND NOW MY CELL PHONE IS OFF. I REALLY DNT CARE TODAY WHO NEEDS ME AND WHO NOT CAUSE WHEN THEY NEEDED ME I WAS ALWAYS THERE BUT AT MY TIME I WAS LEFT ALONE WITH THESE CHOCOLATES!!! IT IS CERTAINLY HURTING BUT AT LEAST I HAVE LEARN T A LESSON!!!!!
Hey, hey...
ReplyDeleteChill. I was not in home. Even i had a bad day today, as a matter of fact, i have it everyday. I was alone 2. I had thrown my cel @ home and gone to park.
1 of d fiercest fights wid mum...
Broke d sink in d bathroom. Very dpresd rite nw.
And u knw wat, dis is wat i've faced for 3 whole years.
Priya u wer emotionaly strng. C'mon dis hurricane can't and never would shatter ur firm base...
I knw u.
And stop thnkn negative.
U lso dnt answer my cel wen i need u d most(sumtyms).
So do i start thnkn lyk dis???
In dis way, u r pasting a fascade over u dear. U r stopping dat shine of a gal who can balance evrythn...
Stop thnkn lyk dis.
Priya, u made me even more dpresd. Der's no lesson in dat.
ReplyDeleteI made u a promise i knw dat i'l be der 4 u bt i am not fuly on track myslf. My mum... U knw hw she behaves. 2days case was even worse.
And I cry 2 make myslf calm.
Ur conditn has sunk much in2 d water den i thot.
U r fuly out of cntrl cuz u cnt suppress d impact of tightening chains around u 4m ur parents.
Also u havn't acceptd urslf my dear.
U havn't acceptd dat u r fragile 4m heart and dats d way u'd be 4 rest of d lyf.
I knw dat d ambitns u've set require strng ppl. Bt accept urslf.
Aft u'd do dat, u'd stop xpctn and if u'd cry, u'd feel calm.
I cry 2 n wen i cry, its for hours. Cuz i suppres evrythn dwn in my heart and dat makes me strong to face d situatn.
Wat u do is, u cry to feel free. Whch is against d situatn. So ur vision gets blurred and above blog is d result of dat...
Take tym and entangle d meaning of my words. Cuz u need 2 figure dis out. Odrvise, u wnt b able to study.